So I'm back to update you on the extensive works
being lavished on our DS, or should I say the most oxidised car since an
original Austin Metro turned one year old. I quite liked the allusion to a
rust-themed song in my last article so I've done it again with another
favourite of mine.
This time it's a
track from the 1987 album Floodland by Gothic rock band The Sisters of Mercy.
When Andrew Eldritch, the lead singer, with his distinctive baritone croons:
'Hey now, hey now now, sing this corrosion to me', from now on the only image
I'll ever see in my mind's eye is my DS sitting, dismantled and corroded, in
the workshop at Graham Morton Vehicle Services in Holmbridge. And there will
always be an ominous shiver down my spine as the image fades.
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| As holy as the Titanic |
So where are we? Well, it's not getting any
better I'm afraid. Whilst the D is getting the long-overdue attention it needs
there is, of course, the ever-mounting sting in the financial tail that I won't
embarrass you, or myself, by saying what that's amounting to. Suffice to say,
the DS is taking full advantage of this spa-like pampering. Let us list what treatments she's had thus
far:
•
A new clutch assembly. The old
one was down to the rivets - we have had our money's worth there!
•
A new accumulator sphere to restore
fully its trademark soft ride.
•
Fully functioning water pump.
The former was leaking like a proverbial sieve.
•
New front brake and parking
pads - done whilst access was available.
•
Replacement bottom hoses,
again, prudent to have done in the circumstances.
•
A full set of drive belts the
old ones showing plenty of age related trauma.
•
Rebuilt B and C pillars, rear
gutters, boot aperture, sills and bumper mounts.
•
A reconditioned front left wing
with new directional light pods (left and right).
•
A totally replaced roof rail,
the former was totally (and utterly) 'shot'. With holes ‘like those on the
Titanic’ it was said.
•
A repainted roof panel with new
internal headlining to make it all lovely inside too.
•
A replacement steering wheel/column
instead of the sun-damaged, baggy one that we'd lived with for too long.
•
A liberal treatment with rust
converter of all the bits that have non-terminal surface corrosion.
•
Finally, to finish it all off,
a refreshing, massage treatment to the D's most intimate places with an
unctuous coating of the finest Waxoyl.
We're also getting some cosmetic work done on
the wiring loom and, if possible, installing a hazard light circuit. It seems a
good addition to a car that, even after such extensive works, may still 'fail
to proceed' in an inconvenient place for any reason it thinks appropriate.
Phew! When you think a lot of that work is
welding and panel reconstruction the car, when complete, should be considerably
safer and much more solid. It makes me
shudder to think how poorly the D would have performed in its former state if
we'd got into 'trouble'.
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| Is that what metal looks like? Really? Wow! |
Even when all that's done and the car is
reconstructed most will wonder where the work has occurred given that on first
impressions it won't look much different. All the newly shaped metal will be
covered up never to be seen again until the time the D feels the time is right
to once more reveal its underparts to the horror of, perhaps, a new owner.
When you think I could have simply had the bodywork
fettled and then professionally painted. Although it would look a 'million
dollars', lurking underneath the true horrors of an ageing DS would have lain
hidden waiting to give many unpleasant problems going forwards. The very issues
we're dealing with right now.
I hope all will agree this is the best approach,
if eye-wateringly scary. The strategy is to get the D's foundation garments
firmly in place before putting on the 'jewellery' later. That way she can be
transformed from a lowly Cinders into the belle of the ball with everything
just as it should be.
 |
| So much new metal - just soooo much... |
Some might ask why now? Well, one of the main
objectives of getting the work done, apart from the small issue of converting
the car from a death trap to something more life enhancing, was that it would
(safely) transport us to the International Citroen Car Club Rally (ICCCR) being held in the Middachten Estate in Holland this coming August.
 |
| Half-way there.. |
We went to the 2012 ICCCR in Harrogate and had a
great time so we're looking forward to it. Having a robust D to get us there is
of high importance to our enjoyment. However, factoring in the costs of getting
the car ready, it's one of the most expensive holidays we've ever had. So far, we’re on schedule to meet that goal
but will be limiting the amount of spending money we take on our break. Can’t
think why!
So, to conclude, we still own a DS, arguably
more than we did before it went away to be put right. Alternatively, I should say: we own less corrosion and more metal now. I'll update on the finalised work in
the next blog perhaps, and hopefully also about a successful and trouble-free journey to the ICCCR.
