Whilst there are many excellent benefits that come from owning a
classic car there is, as with many things in life a lingering dark side.
As much faith as we have in our chosen aged conveyances and no matter how reliable
they may seem it is inevitable that they will at some point let you down. Ancient engineering, hard to find parts and creeping
invisible rust will all eventually manifest themselves in an unscheduled, and traumatic
stop at the roadside. So I ask: is there anything more stressful than breaking
down in your classic car? Clearly life
throws some nasty things at us as a matter of course and in the scheme of
things a mere breakdown is, on the whole, quite trivial. But in the heat of the
moment it’s
hard to rationalise it in these terms. In my experience it always happens when
you least need the hassle. You’re in a rush. When it’s raining or snowing.
You haven’t
got your mobile phone with you. Usually when your classic car ‘fails to proceed’ not only have you the initial problem of why you have stopped to
consider, but you can probably add any, or all of the following list to help
deepen your roadside anxiety:
The wait. Until your breakdown organisation turns up – if they can find you that is. Even then, the recovery guy will look over your ageing motor and with a sigh, put away his high-tech diagnostic computer in favour of twiddling with the HT leads, flicking the fuel filter and testing the battery. I think they do this more for show more than any sort of informed mechanical opinion just in case they might get lucky. Eventually, after they’ve asked you to futilely ‘turn it over’ a few times, the only option will be to publicly hoist you onto the truck and take you home.
The cost. Almost all breakdowns of the classic car type will mean the outlay of money. Even if you can do the remedial work yourself, an exotic, long-in-the-tooth motor will mean sending off for parts, searching eBay or phoning round specialists who know the true cost of what you need and then charge you accordingly. This will be money you don’t really have because you’ve just paid for a new suite; a holiday; had the spare room decorated or worse, just paid out money on your car.
The hubris. This is the opposite of the smug sensation you get whilst driving around in a well-functioning icon of bygone motoring. The admiring glances, the smiles from appreciative onlookers and the self-congratulatory feeling that your investment is also adding to your self-esteem. However, when you’ve broken down in a very public spot you’re there for the entire world to see. Some passing drivers will be inwardly laughing (if they’re polite) that your conceit of owning a classic car has come back to bite you on the ass. It’s no coincidence, because you’re probably thinking the same thing which does nothing to help your mood.
The regret. This will be related to the fact that last the time you went out in your car something wasn’t quite right but you did nothing about it. Perhaps there was a strange, unfamiliar noise, the temperature gauge was just a little above normal, it crunched its gears once or twice or there was a strange smell. All, you are now finding, were the tell-tale signs of cost and inconvenience looming ahead and were the primary reason why you went with the negligent it’s probably nothing route instead of getting your wheels checked over. This way madness lies or at least the hard shoulder.
The lingering doubt. Even when it’s all over. When your car is fixed and going again there’ll always be the persistent suspicion that this just the beginning. That there are more problems to come. And for that you love your car just a little less. You might go so far as to look at the classifieds to see how much your model is selling for and you’ll certainly lack confidence in it for a while. I’m sure many classic car romances have foundered against the rocks of recurring mechanical malady and roadside melancholy and I for one have been ‘there’. I wonder how many more forced pull-ins it’ll take to finally make me pull out?
 |
| Would you like to buy it? |
I have a saying I like to use when people chat to me about my
car. If they ask how reliable it is I
always quip: ‘I have total confidence
in it… between breakdowns’. However, if you asked me
whilst I’m
nursing my ailing motor at the roadside, a more apt response might just be: ‘would you like to buy it?’
Edited version from article first published in H&H CVC Magazine June 2014. Copyright Anthony Boe 2014 All Rights Reserved
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