Happy 2016 everyone.
Hope you had a great Christmas and New Year. So here we go another Yuletide over and done with and there's only
300-odd shopping days till we do it all again. Something to look forward to. Now
there's some who might say this particular article might have been better
included as an October '15 posting on this meandering blog; a bit nearer to
Halloween than a depressing January after Christmas and I wouldn't
disagree. Unfortunately, I hadn't
actually thought of it then but I did, briefly, consider the option of
reserving this piece till later in the year but given that there’s an inherent
horror in the post-Christmas miasma of having to go back to work and all that
sort of thing this blog, to my mind at least, seemed appropriate.
Those who know me
are never surprised to learn I've always been a horror film fan, ever since I
was a pale, etiolated youngster. Don't know why but there you go. In my
long-evaporated youth I used to love watching the horror double bills that were
shown Saturday nights on BBC2 in the mid-seventies. I'd stay up, usually on my
own, and watch the old Universal and RKO black and whites starring the now
legendary Bela Lugosi, Boris Karloff and Lon Chaney Jr. They'd usually be
followed by a classic Hammer or Amicus film with such luminaries as Peter
Cushing or the late, great Christopher Lee. And, as a pimply teenager, if there
was a film in which I might get a glimpse of Ingrid Pitt's décolletage then
wild horses couldn't drag me to bed. No wonder I was always knackered as a kid!
Relevant to our
concerns here are those horror films where a car (or cars) take centre stage
and play a significant part in the resulting mayhem. So why not hide beneath
the duvet, pretend there's really nothing horrendous under your bed and try
some of these motoring monsters - if your nerves can stand it that is.
Christine (1983)
This film, based on a
Stephen King novel, has a 1958 Plymouth Fury called Christine as its eponymous
anti-heroine. A vengeful lady-car no less who gets into an unhealthy
relationship with nerdy owner Arnold who has lovingly restored her. Pretty soon Christine goes on a killing spree
of all those who have slighted Arnold or of whom she is jealous for his attention.
She has a pretty neat trick of being able to regenerate herself after her
murderous adventures so even when she’s been badly damaged in a smash, burned
or vandalised she’s pretty soon in tip-top condition. Wish my car was capable
of that it’d save a fortune in garage fees! In actual fact, the film used up to
20 cars (not all of them a Fury) to create the pre and post regeneration effects
destroying quite a few in the process. Today only two of the film cars survive
so the director John Carpenter has a lot to answer for in deliberately depriving
the world of some pretty rare cars. Now that is horrific.
Death Race 2000 (1975)
Now if you’ve ever
been in a car and the driver points to a woman with a pram or an esteemed
senior citizen crossing the road and says something like: ’10 points’, they’re
referencing, whether they know it or not, this film. Set in a dystopian future
it features a pseudo-political, transcontinental car race used to subdue and
entertain the repressed populous. The aim of the race is to gain points by
seeing off opponents and also unwitting citizens going about their lives for
whom a point value is awarded should they be successfully dispatched. Cars used
include a Chevrolet Corvette, a Karmann Ghia and a Fiat 850 Spider all tricked
out with imaginative and deadly weaponry. There’s a sub-plot of political
resistance and an attempt to overthrow the state but most who watch just want
to see vehicular mayhem being played out with as much death and destruction as
possible. Or is that just me?
Mad Max (1979)
There’s an ongoing and
intense rivalry between Australian Petrol Heads about which particular car
tribe you should belong to. Some are dyed-in-the-wool
GM devotees and others ‘Ford blokes’. What they do have in common is far from these
being Astras and Fiestas these cars are usually supercharged beasts based on
beefier US platforms than the more efficient cars we in the UK buy from these
manufacturers. It can be safely assumed that director George Miller is firmly
in the Ford camp given that virtually all the primary cars used are super-charged
Ford Falcons (known as a Crown Victoria in the US and used extensively as
police pursuit vehicles). Max (Mel Gibson) is a policeman in yet another
dystopian future looking for revenge against the marauding gang who killed his
family. There are some fantastic chase scenes in the film and the V8 Falcons
are used to great effect with some nerdy detail of the interceptor cogs being
engaged when Max decides to drive his motor flat out. The end sequence where Max
exacts his revenge is now a classic in film history. What does seem to be a
theme though is when the world finally does descend into anarchy a super-fast car
would be a useful thing to have. Hmmm might need to trade up…
The Abominable Dr. Phibes (1971)
Probably one of my
favourite Horror films. It has equal
amounts of humour, horror and inventiveness making it a perfectly blended
shocker. The horribly disfigured Dr. Phibes - portrayed by the brilliant
Vincent Price – exacts retribution onto a surgical team for failing to save his
wife’s life by killing each in a highly creative style based on the plagues of
Egypt. He travels between these engagements in an Hispano Suiza H6
limousine. This Franco-Spanish car (and
aircraft) company made a range of high-quality luxury cars in the same class as
Rolls Royce and Bugatti all with their distinctive stork mascot adorning the
hood. Due to changes in ownership they reverted to aircraft and military production
in 1937 and no further cars were made. During that time some of their
technology was licensed by Rolls Royce such was the innovation and quality of
their designs. Suffice to say Phibes’ distinguished and rare Hispano Suiza
serves him well as he completes his revenge and it ultimately transports him to
one of the most shocking and disquieting denouements of any horror film.
It’s interesting
isn’t it? Many horror films have cars but
they remain mostly unsung parts of the plot. But let’s put it this way: those
teenage victims of the serial killer rarely walk to the spooky cabin in the
middle of the woods where their fate will be sealed. No, most of the time
they’ll have driven there making the car entirely complicit in their doom.
Likewise, the vehicle that fails to start as the monster bears down on the
hapless victim is ongoing proof that the car has been responsible for seeing
off more than a few screaming, nubile girls and thick-necked college jocks. So
think on this: Next time you experience the horror of turning the key on your
classic to no response, remember, it could be a whole lot worse!
