Neil Young fans will recognise the title of this blog: it's the name of one his many excellent albums. One of my favourites
in fact. It's also a line from one of the best songs from the record: My My Hey
Hey. I just love the main guitar riff. It sounds like the satisfying growl of
an angle grinder noisily chewing it's way through a rusty manhole cover. I
thought it an apt way to start to an article in which there is going to be much
talk of rust (and possibly angle grinders).
So with that in mind I thought I'd share the
emerging story of the potentially financially ruinous decision we made recently.
That of finally getting our 1973 DS 20/5 renovated. Those of you who have taken
this step with your wear-worn classic will know this can be a process
characterised by exhilarating highs and shocking lows. As I write, I'm in the latter category. When
Neil Young sings that 'rust never sleeps' he's bang on the money but the oxidisation
you're about to encounter is of the wide-awake,
hopped-up-on-super-strength-Red-Bull variety. You have been warned...
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| Looks good doesn't she (from a distance) |
The reputation of the DS as being a rust bucket
is well known. Legendary in fact. The build-quality of old school Citroens was
far from good. No matter how much innovation the Citroen engineers designed
into their cars, it simply did not feed through into the construction and
longevity of the final products which is a disappointing paradox. To be fair, I
was aware of this when I bought our D eight or so years ago but with its South
African heritage I'd hoped this wouldn't be as great an issue. It was a forlorn hope I'm afraid.
You see, like an ageing French Madame, the DS
hides it's imperfections very well. Even the most pukka looking D, with good
paint and solid mechanicals, can be hiding some eye-opening surprises when she
coyly lifts her skirts to reveal the fundaments that lie beneath. When covers
are removed, trim detached and seals are pried away the concealed evidence of
the advancing years are insouciantly laid bare.
And the D just looks innocently back at you and bats its eyelashes as if
to say: 'well what did you expect?'
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| Voila le corrosion |
Therefore, as our D was towed off to Graham Morton Vehicle Services in Holmbridge I knew that a roller coaster ride of emotions,
financial calculations and budget-stretching decision-making lay ahead. It
would be a constant battle between the penny pinching of the rational head and
the pleadings of the emotional heart.
To be fair, I wasn't totally ignorant of our D's
issues. The rotten roof rail needs
extensive repair to stop it leaking on my leg on rainy days. The paint on the
fibreglass roof is pitted and crazed and the inner headlining has extensive
foxing from winter condensation. The
clutch is paper-thin and pressure plate replacement on a DS is a BIG job
necessitating removal of the engine. It's also prudent to upgrade brake pads
and other hoses when the clutch is changed whilst good access is available. Add
to that the flaky door seals and the bases of the a b and c pillars which are
all in a bad way and the bill is never going to be modest.
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| C Pillar and back shelf - C meaning corrosion |
That's quite a list I'm sure you'll agree.
However, with my eyes fully open, I knew it would inevitably expand a bit. The plan was to get the car structurally
sound - nice and solid underneath - and deal with the bubbling exterior paint
in the future once we'd recovered from these necessary foundational expenses.
What transpired was a little more than I had hoped for.
Examine the photos and you can see the rear
sections of the car are as 'rotten as a peach' as the saying goes. The C pillars
and rear shelf including seat belt mountings are a symphony of oxidisation,
holier than the Pope's colander no less. 'The worst I've seen but don't panic'
said Graham Morton as brightly as he could. 'Oh' I said, rather less
enthusiastically.
The passenger side wing disintegrated on removal
and was declared beyond economic repair. And in a battle between a probing
screwdriver and the left-side sill, the latter lost at every thrust. The water
pump had signs of leaking coolant around its seals signalling imminent failure
and the rear bumper mounts wilted under relatively little pressure.
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| Bumper Mounting and boot aperture. Suitable only for rust transport |
It was a distressing litany of corrosion,
mechanical issues, cost and my ever-increasing alarm at how unsound the car
actually is. One small issue was a badly melted wire in the core loom due to
some previously botched repairs and a weak earth. It could have easily caused a fire resulting
in the total loss of the car. By this stage,
a fire actually seemed the very best option where the evidence of the car's
issues would be resolved by the sorry, but infinitely cheaper, spectacle of a
blackened car chassis sitting on a roadside somewhere.
So there you have it. A tale of woe and no
mistake. How will this sorry saga
resolve? Will the DS20/5 live to fight another day? Has it already been sold
cheaply, towed away to be scavenged for parts?
Maybe there will be a follow up blog with better news or
merely an obituary for another classic that has finally broken its exasperated
owner. We shall see...
