Where Are The Future Classics?

So as the 2015 showing season kicks off it seems a good time to be thinking about what we'll spend many up-and-coming weekends doing: looking at old cars. Perhaps like me you take it for granted and assume we all have a common understanding of what exactly constitutes a classic car?  But what is it that makes some cars classic and others just old and knackered? Have you ever wondered about this?  Apparently there's no firm definition of what a classic car is in the UK. According to Wikipedia at least. This august source speculates the pre-1974 cut-off date to qualify for free road tax or ‘historic’ status might be significant but then again it might not.  There’s a dust-dry HMRC tax-based definition as being older than 15 years and greater than £15k in value (if it’s used as a company car). Finally, there is the rather nebulous: is/was the car subject to popular acclaim? None of these help much in my view.  In the US it’s quite straight forward. A classic is defined as being between 30 and 49 years old; simple as that. Of course, much older cars fall into other categories such as veteran, vintage, pre-war etc. but I’ll leave them until another day. 

My interest in this piece is in wondering what should we buy today to have a genuine classic of tomorrow whatever the definition is? If age or tax free status is the only factor the simple answer is potentially anything. However, I suspect it’s more complex than that especially when looked at through the distorting lens of popular acclaim or perhaps, rarity.  On this latter point there is growing concern that a lot of mainstream eighties and nineties cars are disappearing altogether. Perhaps, as our more affluent society urged us to change cars more often, we have jettisoned our motors without thinking about posterity. This process was accelerated with the recent UK car scrappage scheme and was further aggravated with many historic car companies going bump (Rover anyone?). These issues, when coupled with an increasingly homogeneous supply, means fewer truly distinguished cars were/are being made. This could mean that the supply of even ‘everyday’ 80/90/00s classics in twenty  years may be severely limited which, despite their indifference as cars, may ultimately count in their favour value-wise.

The core problem is that most modern cars have all gone through the sausage machine of NCAP safety standards, bean-counting bureaucracy and globalised markets. Yes they may be safe, comfortable, economical, and long-lived but mainly they’re boring as heck and all look the bloody same. Can you imagine walking along a line of Kia Cee’ds or Toyotas Priuses at your local car show in 2040? I can feel my eyes glazing over even now.  There’ll be precious little chrome garnish. No interesting hood ornaments. No smell of un-burnt petrol. No interesting mechanical details to discuss as you look, bewildered, into the well stuffed engine cavity. Instead, it’ll be just line after line of dull, benign, aerodynamic mediocrity.  All airbags and plastic bumpers.

When I look at the cars of today I really can’t see what I’d want to appear on the showing circuit when I’m in my dotage. Please note, I’m not talking about Ferraris or Bugatti Veyrons here but cars that the average person might actually have on their driveway. Annoyingly I find myself gravitating towards the re-worked classics but don’t really want to.  Yes I’m talking about you BMW Mini, Fiat 500, and VW Beetle! Surely that’s cheating. Rehashing the nostalgia of past classics by putting retro bodies onto a Punto or Golf chassis. Yes they may look the part but where’s the innovation? And, whilst we're on the subject, what are they doing making big-assed Minis and huge, ugly Fiat 500s? Surely the original USPs of these small, economical cars-of-the-people has now been spectacular missed?

My only hope is that cars of the future will be so remarkable, so revolutionary, that today’s cars will look ‘classic’ in comparison. You never know, by then the internal combustion engine may be as antediluvian as steam power is today. Perhaps cars will no longer exist as we know them and we’ll all be travelling around in hovering, noiseless aer-o-cars?  More likely, as fossil fuels run out, they’ll all be horrible little eco-boxes that try to squeeze as much mileage as possible out of a litre of fuel as it’ll cost the literal arm and a leg by then.

Despite all that, I’ve racked my brains to come up with some interesting ideas of what might count as a future classic and now my head hurts.   But there are some potential contenders so I offer:  Chrysler PT Cruiser: even though they’re terrible. Fiat Multipla: unpleasant to look at for any length of time. Tata Nano: a valiant but futile attempt to make a genuine economy car for the 21^st century. The G-Wiz: awful but conceived to solve a problem. Citroen C4 Cactus: definitely an acquired taste. Range Rover Evoque: pretty four-wheeler despite the interference of a spice girl. Lotus Exige: affordable sports madness. TVR Tuscan: beautiful, fast and ultimately doomed. Skoda Yeti: competent off-roader (and crypto VW). Nissan Juke: quite possibly the most gopping car on today’s roads. VW Sirocco: with its alluring curves. Chrysler 300c: muscular if nothing else.

You might have other thoughts but I think the real solution is to keep our current true classics in good shape so they can still go to the shows of the future and, depending on what definitions are in use, your motor will may very well be reclassified as a veteran or vintage by then.