Make Mine A Jag!

So Christmas is bearing down on us at an alarming pace.  I wondered why the shops were all decorated in a strange way and why, for no reason I can think of, I keep humming Merry Christmas Everybody.  Oh well, here we go again.  Actually I’m quite looking forward to it this year.  I mean, what could be better?  I’ll start by getting a lovely log fire going in the wood burner to toast me toes. Then I’ll settle down in a big comfy chair with a glass of mulled wine and a spicy mince pie. And, as the scent of a festive pine tree perfumes the air and there’s a cupboard chock-full of goodies to swell my waistline, life starts to look good. Naturally, there’s the prospect of watching loads of films and programmes on the TV. Ones that I’ve seen many times before a bit like old friends who pop by to eat my diminishing box of Quality Street as I glare resentfully at them. I'm even relishing the prospect of receiving a glut of gifts that I can look forward to returning in the New Year for something that I actually might want. But better than all that. Better than a few days off work and, more satisfying than the inevitable overindulgence is the fact I get to sit at my PC, crack my fingers and write my second Christmas-themed blog article. Yes this is the missive in which I get to vent my spleen about how much I bloody hate Christmas. Fantastic!

Of course, there’s always the challenge of how to relate this irksome season in some way to cars and car related stuff.  I’ll admit for a short while I thought: what the hell, forget cars and just bang on about how irritating Christmas is to me but fair’s-fair you do need a bit of automotive content so here goes.  

It’s actually quite lucky for this purpose that I was recently working with the resurgent Anglo/Indian Jaguar Land Rover. I can’t tell you about the content of my work but it’s been quite eye-opening to see this company close up.  More satisfying, is that I was in contact with an uncharacteristically successful UK-based car company and that - unlike Christmas - has helped to warm my frigid soul. 

Some of my work has involved a number of visits to the JLR Heritage Centre in Gaydon which for a 'petrol head' is a real treat but also a bit sad seeing all the old cars I remember from my youth. It was a bit like the remains of an extravagant Christmas lunch – so much hard work laid to waste with little left to show for our efforts.  The Centre is a purpose-built facility which has collected examples of the long-gone automotive products of the surrounding counties and now houses choice examples of the historic cars that were assembled over the years by the West Midlanders.  All yesteryear's motoring life is here with cars we have known and loved and quite a few that we hated. Austin, Leyland, Morris, Rover, MG, Triumph, Sunbeam. No, these are not alternative dwarves for a Christmas Pantomime but instead a roll call of the damned as the British car industry counted down to extinction like the windows on a low-quality advent calendar. The four-wheeled remnants that survive can now only be found in countless classic car gatherings and in centres such as this. 

To add to the ambience, decked around the display halls are the original rough pencil sketches that Alex Issigonis made for the Minor and the Mini as well as many examples of the tinselly advertising material that urged us to buy these varied machines.  There’s even an MGB that's been expertly sliced down the middle like a Yuletide turkey so you can see all the gibbletty widgets that lie within. As interesting, are the prototypes of familiar cars that made the commercial cut and a few that didn't and were thrown aside like unloved stocking fillers. 

Overall, it's well worth a visit although, unfortunately, I don’t think it’s open on Christmas day so no 'get out clause' there I’m afraid. Inevitably there’s also a gift shop where you can buy model cars, books, badges, key rings, tea towels and many other sparkly offerings that you might actually want give someone as a gift. Better even than gold, frankincense or myrrh one might venture.

If there’s a ray of light here, like the wise men's star, I would offer that the Heritage Centre lies at the heart of a (UK based - but Indian owned) company that is now producing cars that you might actually be proud to own.  This comes after the Ford ownership years where X-type Jags were little more than over-decorated Mondeos and turkeys like the unlovely S Type were allowed to rear their ugly heads and sully the reputation of the venerable Jag forever. 

At last things are finally looking up for JLR.  The Range Rover Evoque, Jaguar F Type, Range Rover Sport are now genuine success stories, made with passion and fuelled by brimming order books. More encouraging is that UK car workers are again helping to drive mass market, vehicular innovation in the much-maligned West Midlands. These new British cars can one day take pride of place in the Heritage centre and (hint hint) if I were to find any of these in my Christmas stocking this year it might certainly improve my dim view of the festive season.

So I’ll conclude with the hope that JLR enjoys many more successful Christmases. I'm sure that they will bring festive joy to many people as they go onto greater success, employ more workers and sell to delighted consumers. I'm sure the latter, with a Christmas carol playing on their lips, will use these their exceptional vehicles to visit their friends and families over the holidays.

Do come back as I have more Christmas related things to say but as they say at this time of year you'll have to wait just a few more weeks...