Remember, Remember

The Fifth of November. The gunpowder treason and plot; I know of no reason why gunpowder treason should ever be forgot. So goes the old rhyme, sung by everyone at this time of year.

Bonfire night is a distinctly British tradition. It's a night when we ooh! at fireworks with all their colour and noise. Children and adults will enjoy a surfeit of toffee apples and Parkin. And they'll warm their hands on a bonfire as they watch a 'Guy' melt. Then again, we may stay at home because it's raining.

Whether you participate or not, Guy Fawkes Night is when we remember that crimes against the monarchy have dire consequences. It’s where the opening poem originated. The burning of a Guy is symbolic of a notorious traitor - Guido Fawkes. On 5th November 1605, he unsuccessfully tried to blow up the Houses of Parliament along with King James I. He and his cohort were caught, tried and gruesomely executed for their treachery.  

Bonfire Night hammers home the message that high treason is rarely forgotten. The crime still exists on the UK statute book and remains a serious one. However, long imprisonment is now the penalty.

So far, so historical but where are the cars?

Well, over the years, there have been a number of events where a car has been at the centre of a treasonous plot. At this time of year, it seems apt to have a look at some of these vehicles and the part they played. So, as fireworks pop and fizzle up above and bonfire smoke perfumes the autumn air, let’s have a look-see...

1963 Lincoln Continental Convertible

For John F Kennedy his car was not the only thing with a soft top once Lee Harvey Oswald had finished his work. Orthodoxy has it he assassinated the President on 22nd November 1963 but there are many who disagree.

Taking aim from the Texas Book Depository in Dealey Plaza, it’s claimed Oswald ended Kennedy’s presidency. The assassination kicked off a litany of conspiracy theories that rage to the present day. Linked to this most notorious of crimes is the Lincoln Continental in which Kennedy and his wife travelled. It will remain a defining image of one of the most shattering and well-remembered days in post-war history.

1914 Gräf & Stift Double Phaeton Drop Head.

Gavrilo Princip is the most famous man that most will only vaguely know. The man who in June 1914 assassinated Archduke Franz Ferdinand in Sarajevo. The murder precipitated the events that caused The Great War. And the mass slaughter that came thereafter.

If that wasn’t bad enough, sheer dumb luck delivered the Archduke into Princip’s hands. Franz and his wife had survived the initial attempt on their lives earlier in the day.  Princip had fled the scene, but several onlookers were injured.

Ferdinand decided to visit them in hospital. En route, the chauffeur of the convertible Gräf & Stift Double Phaeton took a wrong turn. Into Franz Joseph Street where Princip happened to be. He seized this second chance, raised his gun and the rest, as they say, is history.

1942 Mercedes-Benz W142 Convertible

Whilst some treasonous acts may be considered shocking, others should be seen as just desserts. In the case of the 1942 assassination of Reinhardt Heidrich a leading Nazi, never was anyone more deserving.

Described by Hitler as "the man with the iron heart", historians view him as one of the darkest figures of the Nazi high command. His tenure as Acting Reich-Protector of Bohemia and Moravia saw a ruthless scourge of these occupied Czech provinces.

It’s little wonder that Jan Kubiš and Jozef Gabčík were sent to assassinate him. On 27^th May 1942, they hijacked his open top Mercedes in Prague intending to shoot him. Alas, their British Sten machine gun jammed and they had to improvise by throwing a bomb under the car. This fatally injured Heidrich and he died a week later. The cause of death was sepsis caused by embedded horsehair from the Mercedes’ seats. And of course his arrogance in travelling in an open top car without protection.

1962 Citroen DS19 Prestige

We’re here again. But with good cause, I hope you’ll agree. In 1962, pro-Algerian militiamen set upon President Charles de Gaulle as he travelled in a DS 19 Prestige. As machine gun fire peppered the scene the presidential DS, although bullet-ridden, was able to drive away at full speed. Despite having two tires shot out. The plot was duly foiled.

De Gaulle acknowledged that the hydraulic suspension of the DS saved his life. It had compensated for the tire damage enabling a quick getaway. The event was recreated in The Day Of The Jackal for those who want to see what happened. Once caught, the conspirators were tried and executed by firing squad. Maybe they cursed Citroen’s innovations as the fatal shots rang out.

What can we learn from these treacherous tales of woe?

Well, if you do happen to be head of state, the lessons are clear. Don’t use a convertible car. As we have seen, they don't offer much protection. Have a good chauffeur. One that knows where he’s going and can put his foot down when needed. Try to be nice to your subjects. It won’t help in all cases, but it should improve your chances of not dying.

Finally, favour a hydraulic Citroen as your stately conveyance. Assuming it starts in the morning, it’ll enhance the chances of returning you to your palace in the evening. Any other choice might mean your term as sovereign crashes and burns.

Much like the Guy on a seasonal bonfire. Funnily enough...